Face-punched by an influencer

But wait, who was that

I’ll be the first to admit it: despite my background in brand building, I am remarkably clueless about the influencer and celebrity ecosystem. A friend once joked that I wouldn’t even know if an influencer punched me in the face — fair.

But there’s no denying how powerful influencer and celebrity partnerships can be, especially for small brands trying to break through. At Sundae School, it was Tinx who put us on TikTok’s radar, and Jacob Elordi who got us a New York Post headline.

A few years ago, I was much more tuned into this world. But it drained me. Whenever I met someone at a party and realized they were an influencer, my brain would immediately start calculating how they could help my brand, and what next steps to take. That mindset made every interaction transactional — and left me feeling hollow. We’d exchange friendly follow-up DMs, make the transaction, receive a video, and move on.

These days, I pretty much live under a rock. The downside? If you tell me someone was spotted at Torrisi and would make a great ambassador, I’ll probably have to ask you who they are. The upside? I absolutely love living under a rock. It lets me be lazy about keeping up with the endless rise and fall of influencer fame, and gives me space to stay offline.

I’m drawn to people not because of their follower counts, but because I find them genuinely cool, thoughtful, and interesting. That’s how I uncover fresh, unexpected talent — and if those people happen to have a big platform, that’s just a bonus. As a founder, my personal relationships inevitably feed into my brand, so I’d rather build true friendships than transactional partnerships. That relationship-first perspective has served me — and the brand — far better in the long run.

Of course, there will be moments where the brand needs to run influencer campaigns. In those times, I fully trust my colleagues, who know this world much better than I do, to make excellent suggestions.

It’s Fourth of July weekend out in the Hamptons, where I’m crashing with some friends. I can’t wait for them to lean over in hushed voices at Duryea’s, pointing out which influencers are there — so I can look them up on Instagram with one hand while digging into the lobster salad with the other.

Unless you hold up your lobster salad like this, it’s not a proper influencer review